“Do you ever paint white people?”

A nice lady, who was there for a class, entered my studio. We have made small talk a few times before; however, as she looked around at the walls of my studio, she curiously whispered,
“Do you ever paint white people?”

With a watchful gaze, I simply smiled and responded,
“It’s funny you asked that... I was just talking about how I’m working on diversifying my palette—my portfolio.”

And it was true. Just hours earlier, before I walked out of the house, I told my aunt,
“I can’t say I’m for diversity and not paint everyone.”

If you know me for real, you know I move and breathe with deep conviction.

I try to be truthful—even if I have to circle back and admit I was wrong—because I don’t want to be a hypocrite.

 So let me leannnnnnn into being open for a second.

✋🏽 A Truthful Start

Let me start this blog off with:
No, I haven’t painted white people a lot ( actually, only once). 

Not because I refused to, but because I started painting what I loved, what I found interesting, and what I haven’t seen enough of.

Let me truly say, God has done a work in my heart over the last few years.
Anger (even bitterness), both knowingly and unknowingly, has kept me from truly loving “white people” for a long time.

🖤 Wrestling with Identity

Mind you, I’ve gone to predominantly white schools up until college years.

I’ve been the only Black person in many rooms for most of my career, and even now, as an artist, while I pen this from my little studio. 

The feeling of inferiority isn’t new—it has been a lie I believed for years. 

I naturally took on the quiet, more reserved, “sweet token Black girl” role, and I learned how to “be so” a little too well!

So none of this is foreign to me! And honestly, her question bothered me not out of offense but because I am still learning to put words to this version of Destiny I am today. The wrestle of loving my black identity, and how I show up in the world in a way that honors God well, is something I ponder on a regular.

However, the lies didn’t start as a young adult.
They started when I was about five, sitting under the rainy awning at school dismissal. I remember looking at a girl named EJ and distinctly thinking,
“I wish I had hair like hers... and blue eyes.”

I believe that every child wonders what it would be like to be someone else, but that moment for me planted a seed. The enemy began repeating the same old lie loudly: “You’re not enough as God created you.” Parallel to how he did Eve, in Genesis. 

That little seed grew into all kinds of life-choking weeds—feeling like I could never fully belong, that no matter how hard I worked, I’d always be behind my peers. 

🙏🏽 Pride, Forgiveness, and Growth

As an adult, I knew enough not to lean too far into my “pro-Blackness”.  Not because I don’t love being a black woman, but my blackness shouldn’t become my “functional savior”.

The Holy Spirit had to show me in college that prejudiceness is an ugly spirit—it can influence EVERY people group, creating a sense of “hierarchy” no matter the group of people (even with church folk). And pride, even when disguised as protection, will always put you in direct opposition to God.

And babyyyyyy, I know me—my heart was wicked (like all of us until we say “Yoooo, Jesus I’m sorry for offending you”), and God had to help me deal with my big emotions for real for real.

Now, as a maturing woman in God’s understanding of me—Destiny, a Black woman—I’m learning to take responsibility for my wild heart, not others (cause that ain’t my business). I’ve done the work of forgiveness: forgiving others for their ignorance or mistreatment, repenting and forgiving myself (DESTINY) for not loving His people, who are all made in His image.

Once I committed, I was all in, even if I had to circle that round about a few times. I’ve learned to recognize the spirit of division quickly, but I had to look in the mirror first, though. When pride or insecurity tries to rise up, I have to practice bringing every thought into submission to Christ, asking myself, Is it holy? Is it true? Am I keeping a record of wrongs? Am I even open enough to listen? God, I need help again filtering this emotion…

There have been tears—lots of them—in counseling sessions and quiet car rides with my own thoughts. 

However,  at 30, I’ve come to this conclusion:
God has used—and will use—every part of me. My skin color, my southern twang, my tightly coiled Afro —all of it—as tools to reach whoever He chooses: Black or white.  He loves and even likes how he knitted me together; it’s not a surprise to him, so I don’t have to feel inferior or make others feel inferior.

🌱 Representation Still Matters

For years, I’ve known what it feels like to not see yourself in the spaces you long to stand in. I’ve sat with many young people who open up to me quicker because they saw themselves in me.

So yes, representation matters.

Through my art and my life, I’m determined to undo every lie Satan has planted.

That’s the hill I’ll live on.

I am Pro-Reconciliation.
I am Pro-Forgiveness.
I am Pro-Grace.
I am Pro-Counseling and hard conversations—with others and with myself.

💬 A Lesson from the PMAC Girls (2018)

Years ago, I was working with a group of girls on a craft project. One little brown girl looked at me and whispered,
“Mrs. Destiny... are you friends with Mrs. Hannah?”

“Yeahhhhh,” I said because I wasn’t totally sure where the question was headed.

“But she’s white…”

Before I could respond, the rest of the girls burst out laughing,
“Girllll….”

I laughed too and said,
“Just because I’m Black doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with whoever. I have Black friends, white friends, Hispanic friends…”

And that’s exactly how I want to live.

I refuse to give in to a culture that only seeks to divide.
I will pursue love and peace.
I will not shrink myself or comfort my insecurities by believing I’m not accepted in certain spaces. 

I won’t be a victim or a token!

I won’t side or bandwagon a cause or a party just because it’s labeled “black,” “Christian,” “conservative,” or “liberal.”

However, I will think critically, love deeply, learn to listen well, and speak truth in love when necessary.

I have the Holy Spirit, I’m reading and listening to really good podcasts, and I have lots of wise counsel to guide me when I dive into insecurity or pride.

So yeah — I’m just gonna keep painting and get really good at painting whoever I choose!

Last week my momma asked if I painted animals— so who knows, maybe you’ll see an elephant or a lemur in my next reel!